AFS

We had our first AFS exchange student come to our family about a year ago, and last month we dropped off our daughter, for her return to Europe. Not to confuse the narrative, but the AFS exchange student we welcomed last year, and our daughter we sent off are the same person. We chose AFS because of a family experience with the AFS program many years ago in New York. We were initially a family of three that included a teenage son, and we thought it would be a good time to look into having an exchange student. We talked about maybe hosting a one semester student because it was our first time so I left my email address on the AFS website. A day later we got a call and were told our local high school was a few weeks away from closing their deadline to take new students for the coming school year. As a family, we double checked our commitment to having someone come live with us for a year, and we jumped in. AFS gave us some basic information on students not already assigned to host families. All the kids looked great on paper, so we really didn't know how to choose someone. We have a dog, so the cat lovers were eliminated. In the end, we just went with some random comment on an application that caught our eye and we took a leap of faith and chose Michelle. I guess Michelle saw our application with AFS as well and chose us as well. Or maybe she didn't have a choice? I'm not sure about that. AFS came to our home and interviewed the family and took a look at the room we had for the student. We passed, Michelle came in August, and after that was the best roller coaster, jungle safari, campfire cookout, and book read, all rolled into one. Sorry for what may be detached references, but it is very hard to describe what took place in the last year without using too much cliche. It was a great adventure and all those words used in "exchange student PR" did apply to us. Life changing, broaden your view on life, a new family member, etc.....that all happened. If the reader wants to know more about that, you just have to do it. I can't recreate the experience in words. As far as AFS, they helped us manage the school registration process, they answered all our questions pre-arrival. We were able to contact an AFS volunteer when we had questions throughout the year. Michelle had to go to urgent care during her stay and AFS handled the insurance claim. We didn't pay anything out of pocket. We were able to contact Michelle's parents during the stay via Skype. During Michelle's stay, we took a long trip and were able to ask Michelle's parents for permission and also to pay for her airfare for the vacation. We had a monthly meeting with an AFS volunteer that was not a big deal because we soon became friends with the AFS people and so it would just be a lunch or a coffee and some chat. AFS would come take Michelle out for lunch or an event from time to time. AFS seems to have a lot of experience in dealing with the issues that came up for us during the year. They were a calming and reassuring voice at times, and we all appreciated that. At some point, Michelle became so much a part of our family, that we were on auto pilot, and AFS seemed almost intrusive, but they also seem to know when they can leave you alone as well. AFS told us that we were responsible for room, board and transportation to school. They told us in the beginning that the student is legally considered a "guest" in our house and that we are not considered their "guardian" and would not be responsible for anything that they do, as far as getting into trouble. That was good to know at the start, but after awhile, we treated Michelle as our daughter, and the technicalities of the organizational relationship didn't really matter too much. We were on auto pilot and we were a family in every sense of the word. I have to end with some caveats. There is a financial aspect of taking in another family member. I think anyone considering hosting really needs to figure out if they can manage the costs without anyone feeling extra pressure from the expenses. AFS does NOT pay a stipend to the host family. They tell you this upfront. Lastly, this year was the best year we had as a family. Michelle will always be our daughter and sister. We know we will see her again soon and couldn't be happier for the life enhancing experience we have now. That said, when she left, it was pretty hard for all of us. We expected to miss her but then the reality hits you. You became a family over the year, you draw closer, and just like that, it's time to go. Then the strange part is that we are sad for her leaving and she was too, but then you realize, she's happy to be home with her family and friends. That was on big ball of undifferentiated emotion for the first few days after we said goodbye, but I don't think that's something AFS, or any other organization can prepare you for. So almost a month later, things gat back to normal. It's a new normal though. We miss our daughter, but we are happy for the year we had, and happy to know she will always be a part of our family. FYI we are taking at least one year off from hosting, My wife and son are planning to backpack through Europe next summer and they just might stumble into a little town to visit Michelle.

We had a horrible experience with AFS. AFS charges exorbitant fees to exchange students. Our AFS student from Germany told us she paid $20,000 for her year in the US. The money goes to pay AFS staff, but they give nothing in return. Once an AFS student arrives, the student knows that she/he can find a "better" deal with a different family and can immediately dump your family for no reason. If the student wants to move to a family they think is better, AFS will immediately move them to a new family, without reason, regardless of how much it hurts your family. All that is important to AFS is the fees the student pays. They are ruthless profitteers. An AFS student we know had her teacher make an announcement to her classes that she didn't like her host family, and she was looking for a new family. AFS immediately rewarded her by moving her to a different family the same day. When I was in high school in the 1970's, AFS had a good reputation. Not any more. There is a reason that AFS receives such terrible ratings on this site and others. AFS has turned into an exploitative organization. My advice is to STAY AWAY FROM AFS!