We had our first AFS exchange student come to our family about a year ago, and last month we dropped off our daughter, for her return to Europe. Not to confuse the narrative, but the AFS exchange student we welcomed last year, and our daughter we sent off are the same person. We chose AFS because of a family experience with the AFS program many years ago in New York. We were initially a family of three that included a teenage son, and we thought it would be a good time to look into having an exchange student. We talked about maybe hosting a one semester student because it was our first time so I left my email address on the AFS website. A day later we got a call and were told our local high school was a few weeks away from closing their deadline to take new students for the coming school year. As a family, we double checked our commitment to having someone come live with us for a year, and we jumped in. AFS gave us some basic information on students not already assigned to host families. All the kids looked great on paper, so we really didn't know how to choose someone. We have a dog, so the cat lovers were eliminated. In the end, we just went with some random comment on an application that caught our eye and we took a leap of faith and chose Michelle. I guess Michelle saw our application with AFS as well and chose us as well. Or maybe she didn't have a choice? I'm not sure about that. AFS came to our home and interviewed the family and took a look at the room we had for the student. We passed, Michelle came in August, and after that was the best roller coaster, jungle safari, campfire cookout, and book read, all rolled into one. Sorry for what may be detached references, but it is very hard to describe what took place in the last year without using too much cliche. It was a great adventure and all those words used in "exchange student PR" did apply to us. Life changing, broaden your view on life, a new family member, etc.....that all happened. If the reader wants to know more about that, you just have to do it. I can't recreate the experience in words. As far as AFS, they helped us manage the school registration process, they answered all our questions pre-arrival. We were able to contact an AFS volunteer when we had questions throughout the year. Michelle had to go to urgent care during her stay and AFS handled the insurance claim. We didn't pay anything out of pocket. We were able to contact Michelle's parents during the stay via Skype. During Michelle's stay, we took a long trip and were able to ask Michelle's parents for permission and also to pay for her airfare for the vacation. We had a monthly meeting with an AFS volunteer that was not a big deal because we soon became friends with the AFS people and so it would just be a lunch or a coffee and some chat. AFS would come take Michelle out for lunch or an event from time to time. AFS seems to have a lot of experience in dealing with the issues that came up for us during the year. They were a calming and reassuring voice at times, and we all appreciated that. At some point, Michelle became so much a part of our family, that we were on auto pilot, and AFS seemed almost intrusive, but they also seem to know when they can leave you alone as well. AFS told us that we were responsible for room, board and transportation to school. They told us in the beginning that the student is legally considered a "guest" in our house and that we are not considered their "guardian" and would not be responsible for anything that they do, as far as getting into trouble. That was good to know at the start, but after awhile, we treated Michelle as our daughter, and the technicalities of the organizational relationship didn't really matter too much. We were on auto pilot and we were a family in every sense of the word. I have to end with some caveats. There is a financial aspect of taking in another family member. I think anyone considering hosting really needs to figure out if they can manage the costs without anyone feeling extra pressure from the expenses. AFS does NOT pay a stipend to the host family. They tell you this upfront. Lastly, this year was the best year we had as a family. Michelle will always be our daughter and sister. We know we will see her again soon and couldn't be happier for the life enhancing experience we have now. That said, when she left, it was pretty hard for all of us. We expected to miss her but then the reality hits you. You became a family over the year, you draw closer, and just like that, it's time to go. Then the strange part is that we are sad for her leaving and she was too, but then you realize, she's happy to be home with her family and friends. That was on big ball of undifferentiated emotion for the first few days after we said goodbye, but I don't think that's something AFS, or any other organization can prepare you for. So almost a month later, things gat back to normal. It's a new normal though. We miss our daughter, but we are happy for the year we had, and happy to know she will always be a part of our family. FYI we are taking at least one year off from hosting, My wife and son are planning to backpack through Europe next summer and they just might stumble into a little town to visit Michelle.
AFS
Never ever even think of an exchange with AFS. This organization is HORRIBLE. They are DISRESPECTFUL and VERY INHUMAN.
All they are after is your money! Every single thing they state on their website and on information evenings is a lie!
They do not care about the teenagers abroad at all, they do not choose families carefully (they just take anyone without checking anything), they don't offer any services abroad (no local chapter, no irregular meetings even), they will let your children suffer, they will make your children say that they are at fault (of whatever?!), put so much pressure on them until they will sign a paper, admitting that they broke the rules (pressure goes like that: if you don't admit we will send you back home immediately) and all of a sudden they will send you back home after some months anyway. This happened in China just now several times already to Germans, Italians, Swiss and other nationalities.
The back office in your country claims they will help and do the best they can and that you should trust them. But at the end AFS will send you a unilateral termination of the contract after some months and your child will just be returned home. But for sure they will keep all your money.
I never experienced such a horrible time in my life before, with AFS staff lying at me and behaving like robots but not as human beings, who are supposed to care about teenagers...
If you want to read more about my daughters horror trip go on facebook: stephanie clappier
Comments
We had a horrible experience with AFS. AFS charges exorbitant fees to exchange students. Our AFS student from Germany told us she paid $20,000 for her year in the US. The money goes to pay AFS staff, but they give nothing in return. Once an AFS student arrives, the student knows that she/he can find a "better" deal with a different family and can immediately dump your family for no reason. If the student wants to move to a family they think is better, AFS will immediately move them to a new family, without reason, regardless of how much it hurts your family. All that is important to AFS is the fees the student pays. They are ruthless profitteers. An AFS student we know had her teacher make an announcement to her classes that she didn't like her host family, and she was looking for a new family. AFS immediately rewarded her by moving her to a different family the same day. When I was in high school in the 1970's, AFS had a good reputation. Not any more. There is a reason that AFS receives such terrible ratings on this site and others. AFS has turned into an exploitative organization. My advice is to STAY AWAY FROM AFS!
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My recent experience has been catastrophic I had a double placement for this current academic year. According to their web page and all interviews I had I was only required to provide “bed, meals and same care as I do to my own children”. Well that is not the case with AFS, first none of my children are in public school so I was unaware of how the public system works in this city. After I got the register in school I find out they have to use public transportation to get back and forth to school and I that I to cover that expense as well. I refused to cover that expense and the expense of the all the school fees on top of a 600 per student for a two week trip for their fall break that was mandatory. To add on the school is refusing to work with one of my student to help her accomplish the requirement need it for her to be able to graduate in her country as soon as she return. After my frustration I proceed to call the liaison and complain to her explain what was going on. AFS decided it to remove the students because they were concern that if I can afford to pay for the bus fare then if they get sick how will a pay for their medical bill…Which bring me to the second point they come with health insurance, not really you as a parent have to pay for the bill then submitted for reimbursement. They also told me that they were concern that I didn’t have enough furniture in the house, I was not aware that luxury was part of the requirements. I have 3825 sq. house and the only things I don’t have are a formal dining room and living room set. I do have 4 fully equipment bedrooms, kitchen, eat in kitchen and family room. Also I can’t understand how a company that makes 3,000,940.00 a year and are worth 11, 364,486.00 can’t take care of these extra fees. I don’t mind taking the girl into my life I already made adjustment for the utility bills, groceries, gas and entertainment bills. I did not include all the extras that they try to tell me I signed on for. Is this just me or AFS is horrible company that just sees this kids as big $ , because the fees charged to their parents are astronomical they pay for the regular year plus an extra fee in case they need to go to a private school. Well I try to change them so I can drive them every morning but they refused and told me to stop searching for school that there were going to stay in that specific public one whether they like it or no.
We were a host family for a 15 year girl from Germany. The experience in our home was great, but we never received regular contact from the organization as they promised to do at the beginning of the school year. Everything seemed alright until our student went on a weekend function at a beach house. There was an incident that occurred that gave me no choice but to contact CPS. Soon after the incident, the student was pulled from our home. They removed us from the Facebook group, which I thought was a kick in the teeth. I am seeking additional help to insure that this organization is held responsible for what occurred at the beach house, and the actions they took after the incident. Avoid AFS at all costs.
