We have a exchange student from Norway that we hosted. For seven months and this child lied on her bio. She said she likes to draw take photography and so forth. We had her for seven months and it was the most difficult months of our lives. This girl doesn't talk she's always on her telephone and she just stayed in her room the whole time. Missing out on the culture that she came to United States for. It was frustrating and a difficult time for us as a family. It was like having a ghost in my house. This experience was very difficult for my family. We spent so much money on making her feel welcome and experiencing the city life of our state. This experience with this exchange student was more of a frustrating experience. We couldn't wait for her to leave and go back to her family. She doesn't do anything that we asked her to do such as clean her room or help out in the house. She basically just used us as her boarding house. AFS was no help to us we had liaison that doesn't help and basically we are dealing with a problem that is very frustrating and affecting our lives. I will never do an exchange program again specially with AFS. AFS basically just used us as a driver and a boarding house for the students who are ungrateful and unappreciative. I am not happy with a AFS because they could've told us that we will be driving long driving this students to their orientations and to their field trip's. AFS is disorganized and unsupportive. Before you do an exchange program better do your research first. And truly learn your student that will be living with you before you accept such responsibilities. This is a lesson learned for us. we were hoping for a great experience but we got the worst experience of our lives. This will be our last volunteer hosting a student United States. We will never host again because we are not appreciative by the students or AFS.
AFS
It never occurred to me that I should check out reviews for this program, and I regret that now. Our daughter was on a scholarship program with AFS to spend a hear of high school in Germany. There were warning signs from the beginning that we should have noticed. During our interview for a host family placement, we were told that our answers to questions such as "Do you prefer a city or village? What kind of activities do you do as a family? What are you family chores at home? were all wrong and that we should change our answers to better suit the program.
Once our daughter arrived in Germany it became clear there were problems with her host family. She ended up being moved around to 4 different families in total, including one that thought she was the au pair being assigned to them. During this whole time any problems were always blamed on her. I will admit she is not perfect and can be difficult, but not the extend that was portrayed. All of the meetings with her supposed advisor were sessions that they would just complain about her and she would get no say in the matter or chance to explain, contribute or ask any questions. Any family problems were things she had to deal with. Reports were also repeatedly mixed up, they would confuse hers with another child's report, so she had no idea what was going on and where some of these complaints were coming from. It took many phone calls and discussions to get cleared up, but it continued to happen with each family. She would be told she had to sign these "contracts" with wrong information on them and told you have to because you don't want to go home.
One liaison she met with at one the schools she attend told her she was a failure for not making the family work (the family were the mother also told her she was a failure for not having a boyfriend). Of course they denied this, but there were teachers and other students present that heard this. One family was given a list of all the problems AFS though were going on with our daughter before she moved in. Again they denied this, but the host family asked about the items on the list with others whom informed us about it.
In the end there was just no support for our daughter. After she tried to work with her AFS contact to fix things with her first family they basically told her to stop complaining and not say anything with the next 3 families. Anything she did do would be seen as complaining and not trying. Everything was very one sided, always the side against her. She was never allowed to really succeed and flourish on the program because she was always under this cloud of you do or say anything and you will be sent home.
Statistically, it's likely that your student will have a wonderful, memorable, formative experience. There is only a small chance that it will be otherwise. AFS is equipped to handle three scenarios well. Smooth sailing is, of course, no problem. Minor issues, stemming from cultural differences and the normal issues associated with teens, can almost always be resolved by the host family and student talking the matter through. The third scenario, in which the student is severely injured, becomes seriously ill, or commits an egregious breach of the rules (driving a car, dating) ends with the student being sent home. These cover the majority of likely situations.
In this forum are reports of rare but real scenarios which AFS, because of it's fragmented structure, or because of differences between the cultures and laws of different nations, does not handle to the satisfaction of parents. Examples posted include students being robbed, raped, or suffering severe mental stress. I add placement with an abusive host family to that list. In these situations AFS tries to fit the problem into one of the three scenarios they're comfortable with. They advise the student to talk to the family, they warn the student to behave, they threaten to terminate the exchange. In all cases they assume the student is at fault.
These are inadequate and harmful responses to these sorts of problems. As these students and parents have found, they have little or no recourse. AFS does little, probably because there is little they can do. It is not a monolith with a chain of command, at least not across international lines. It is a constellation of similar, affiliated volunteer organizations.
This is not to say that nothing can be done, just that nothing is usually done because it's difficult.
This doesn't mean AFS is off the hook though. These are our children we're trusting them with. Parents rightfully expect more than deflection and stonewalling.
Sadly I did not adequately vet the organization before choosing a host service. I am sure experiences may vary but my yearlong hosting experience has been terrible. Had I been diligent I would have discovered the poor reviews of the organization here prior to hosting a foreign exchange student through them. I was eager and willing to open my home to a traveling student but as the year progressed it became clear that it would be riddles with "gotchas" in which we were put in the difficult position of creating a good hosting experience and paying out of pocket for many expenses that were to be covered by the organization due to misinformation provided to the host student (and their family) prior to arrival. In the end, I have ended up picking up the tab for many many additional things after stating quite clearly before hosting that although I would be happy to feed and house a student and even take them on vacation with us to destinations throughout the US, I could not pay for items such as "cell phone" and AFS sponsored trips. I was assured that I would only be required to pay for room and board, but this was not to be the case. When I inquired about this, ultimately the representative would say "although other families choose to provide this you are in no means required too" but at this point we had all eyes pointing to us including the student and her parents explaining that they were informed otherwise. I have, of course, reluctantly covered the additional expenses not wanting the students experience to be impacted as thy have continued to mount throughout the year. To make matters worse, as others have mentioned, AFS poorly plans expensive trips throughout the year that are not covered by the exorbitant cost paid initially by the student to the organization. In most cases, again, these expenses have fallen upon us when we were told otherwise! This leaves myself and other host families to speculate as to what exactly "after airfare" are the thousands of dollars paid by the student and their family going to? Some host parents I have spoken with in regards to this have relayed thoughts that perhaps it is the AFS office in NYC, or executive and worker salaries? I will let you be the judge only relating my experience in the hopes that it will inform others before deciding on an organization. The ratings here do not misrepresent, in my humble opinion.
My husband and I hosted a student for the first time in 1994. I saw an ad in the paper and thought I'd moonlight for the exchange program that had posted the ad. We loved our student from the very first and it was the best idea we ever had. While we had her, we found out about AFS. We happened to live in a small city where AFS was and is very active. The local volunteers and the school advisor included our student in all the AFS activities and enhanced her exchange in a way my husband and I could not. I decided to become a volunteer for AFS because I was the only rep for the other exchange program, and if I joined AFS, I was part of an organized group. We have hosted 4 other AFS students since 1995 and we are currently acting as an emergency family for a student until AFS oks a new family for him. Yes, that happens, in spite of the volunteer training, in spite of the family and student orientations, in spite of taking care to match students with families so everyone has a good experience. We volunteers do all we can to support the student, and the families, work with the schools, the other countries and the U.S. Government. As an AFS volunteer, I am required to take training every year. One part is for AFS, the other part is for The Department of State. I submit to a background check. If I am a liaison, which is a volunteer who checks with the student and family every month to be sure the exchange is working, I take training for that each year. If we host, there is a special application for that. Each country has requirements for its AFS program, so if you use AFS, get as much information as you can before you make your decision to send your child, or host. AFS and the exchange experience has changed very much over the last 20 years. Some of the changes I agree with and some I don't. In the meantime, my husband and I think that we are getting too old to host. When we hosted in 2010, he was the same age as the student's grandfather, lol. We are in the middle of moving and have other things going on, or we'd let our current student stay for the rest of his exchange. I know the family he was with, and we are getting to know him. I don't think it is anyone's fault the exchange didn't work out, sometimes the expectations are too high on both sides. I will say that AFS doesn't just let a student go to another family. Unless there is abuse, volunteers and staff work as hard as we can to keep the original exchange on track, but we hope the family and student can work it out between themselves--it is a learning experience after all. Even if we don't host him, we'll stay in touch with him the rest of his exchange and longer if it happens that way. Speaking of staying in touch, we have stayed in touch with all of the other students we hosted, except one. I stay in touch with local teens I meet, who are friends with the exchange students. I'm in touch with some of the exchange students I was a liaison for, and some of the families as well. I'm in touch with kids I mentored for the YES program, kids I met at orientations. After the first 10 years with AFS, my husband and I realized we had met people from over 50 countries. And we met so many people from our own community at the same time. Saying goodbye is hard to do, but we've come to realize that the idea of exchange is actually a door that doesn't have to shut. We've seen 3 of the students we hosted after the exchange ended. We love the Internet because it makes it easier to stay in touch. You wouldn't believe how many letters we wrote before 1998! Every exchange program has positives and negatives. AFS is the oldest and there are AFSers all over the world. I have a lot in common with many of the volunteers and staff and others, not so much. I've had hands-on experience with 2 other programs, and I'll give the rest of my volunteering years to AFS. I won't say it is easy to volunteer for AFS, but I wouldn't trade the last 20 years for anything.
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